So I haven't been blogging much. Sorry about that. It's not you, it's me.
I hope things are going well for you! I'm not going to say things are perfect but I've been doing pretty good. I recently released another new song! 20% is my last pre-release for this album. Now I'll be working on a video for Back Sack and finishing up the details of the album, album art, and creative add-ins. It's exciting as we are coming to an end on this! The end is just the beginning though! Once my album is out I need to be working on my videos, performances, and networking. This is going to be the hard stuff for my anxiety, but conquering my fears will be one of the best reasons to make it happen. I deleted a bunch of my youtube videos last week. I just don't connect with that past. I have grown in my creativity and I have gained knowledge. I felt a fresh start could be the best thing for me right now. I'll probably be going through them and trimming the fat even more, so if you love the oldies you might want to watch them while you can. Talk to ya later! Love ya, Kazidelicious
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If you said I was outrageous, I'd have to take that as a compliment. I love breaking out of the mold. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm not a normie.
Last night we finished my love song, about ball sacks. It's amazing, in my humble opinion. "I found his golden satchel at the end of a rainbow, and now that I found them I'm never gonna let em go!" The song goes in depth into my love for the most fun part of the male anatomy, the balls! I think many people love them, not many talk about it. Give it a listen and let me know your thoughts!
Last night I helped my friends with a video, and I'm glad I did. These guys crack me up with their creative humor. I'm held to secrecy, but I'll tell you this is going to be one awesome ass video!
It's great to help someone else with their creative efforts, especially since these guys are helping me with my album! Creative collaborations are bad ass! I'm excited to see the future for Lawless Label! Today I'm falling asleep. I feel like I didn't sleep, and I fell asleep twice in my recliner while trying to wake up. Today is the first day since giving up coffee, that I'm not using the caffeinated Mio drops in my water. This might be a long day after all. I'm exhausted, but I'll never get tired of you guys! Love ya, Kazidelicious
I've been listening to this song on repeat for a few days now. "I Can't Believe What I Did For Love" David Guetta and Emili Sande have made the perfect song to get me dancing and thinking at the same time. I've been in my insecurities on and off this past couple of weeks. I'm not sure why they happen, what triggers me. Sometimes I'm thrown into my past thinking process without even realizing it until I've spiraled into a dark place. In these moments it's extra difficult being in a relationship and projecting those issues on to him.
This song has made me take a beat and look at my past, my old relationship is not this one. It's easy to see that, but I forgot so many of the small terrible things about that destruction. I only recall the final blow up. If I looked at that past experience as a whole, I was unhappy, and I didn't do anything about it. What I did for love was give up the majority of myself to be what someone else wanted. That's not where I am now. That's not what's expected of me. All my current boyfriend wants is for me to be happy, and true to myself. We both grow together in our goals and shared interests. I have to stop treating him as though he's making the mistakes I couldn't see in my past relationship. I have to stop seeing imaginary lines connecting inventive dots. I'm still working on me. Please don't assume because life is looking up and things are great that I'm not still fighting my own battles. No one's perfect! You're the shit, fuck what they say! Love ya, Kazidelicious
Yesterday I went to an audition for a movie by an Academy Award-nominated director, John Hancock! I remember watching Prancer on repeat growing up, so even being an extra in his newest work "Girls Of Summer" would be amazing! The writer Tori Titmas is a student at Second City, and she seemed very receptive and nice. It's strange that although these individuals were going to be judging me, I was relaxed. I went in, told them who I was, and said the lines. They asked me to do it again directly to the writer. Then they said "So you're going to do some comedic rapping for us?"
I wasn't planning to, but what could it hurt? I did put it on the application, just in case. I rocked out the first two verses of 1Cheesecake with out background music. They giggled a little, and seemed to enjoy the moment. It's possible they may not choose me for a part in the movie, and maybe my music won't be what they're looking for, but I'm proud of myself for breaking out of my comfort zone and going. Then finding out, it wasn't that uncomfortable at all, (except on your butt from sitting in the lobby) but that was cool too because I met some other awesome local artists! More and more I'm realizing the dream. I would love to write fun, unique songs for movies and commercials. I think I should start researching this. It would be an awesome outlet for myself, and I don't think it would even feel like work. It would be fun! Have a great day rock stars! Love ya, Kazidelicious Yesterday I got a new car! Yay! I really needed a different one, mine was leaking antifreeze and I was limited on how much driving I could do. My job requires me to go out marketing, and I wasn't even able to do that. I'm pretty excited to have a new option. It's smaller and strange to get used to, but I'm sure I'll be fine once I do.
I will be honest I'm not in a funk per say but I just don't feel like writing much today. Sorry Love ya Kazidelicious Today started out pretty good. I had a decent day at work, the time passed quickly, the customers were happy. I came home and dinner was delicious. I watched a good show. Then out of the blue I'm crying, and I can't stop crying. I guess it's not out of the blue actually it stemmed from a conversation about my diet. I'm not so sure that I like this no carb thing, but I can't keep eating this high fat diet if I'm going to break the rules. I got so angry, sad and just started balling my eyes out. I am trying and part of me is liking not needing the morning coffee, and I'm glad I have cut out things I don't need. I just hate cutting all my favorite things! I also don't really love eating so much meat all the time. I'm really more addicted to veggies and fruits, and with this diet I don't eat fruit at all. It's lame, and I'm complaining.
I'm tired but defiant so I don't want to go to bed. I'm such a punk ass sometimes. Good night, at some point. love ya kazidelicious Yesterday I was emotional, and it was a rough day to say the least.
Today I started my lady time, what a relief. Creepin On Ya is no longer, online for all to see, This morning I removed it, heart achingly, It wasn't what I wanted, but others have changed, and I've got more ideas, who am I to complain, So I continue to work on my album, this isn't the end, Just one lost song, I made with some friends. Yesterday was rough, that's the least I can say, but now we can start fresh, this is a new day.
Good morning! It's Friday and I think it'll be a good day. I usually love the weekends because we get busier. When I'm at work I want to be running around like a fool all day, I thrive on that shit!
Last night I was so exhausted and I tried to do some recording, but we will have to revisit it. I just didn't have the energy, so I went home and had dinner and passed out. A month ago I would've cancelled and not even tried, a week ago I would've gone but then beat myself up about it later, I think slowly I'm improving. When I left Blastcap finished a song though, it's called Triggered and it's fuckin awesome! I'll post it below for ya! An update on the caffeine carb free diet. I was having a hard time with the headaches so now I'm having coffee but using sugar free creamer. I'm not drinking nearly as much because it doesn't taste great. I'm replacing my daily bananas with potassium capsules. I'm also taking multivitamins now, and I feel like I'm getting old! Oh well! Have a great day! Love ya, Kazidelicious
What was I thinking!?! Trying to quit caffeine and sugar all at once! The last few days were filled with headaches that made me feel like I was a boat on a rocky sea. I was constantly cold, chilled to the bone, and then hot again. I slept most of the day and then lounged around, defeated. My boyfriend was pretty awesome, checking on me, trying to help, cooking for me. These are the moments you have to be grateful for the people who stick by you.
After two days of headaches I knew I couldn't stand any more. I decided not to give up coffee completely yet. We just got some sugar free creamers so I could keep the sugar intake down. For breakfast today I have a small bowl of walnuts and almonds, and a cup of coffee that is slightly darker than I normally take it. I will probably take a cheese stick or two for a snack, a salad for lunch (with a low carb dressing 2 carbs or less per serving), lot's of water, and nuts for a late afternoon snack. That is the plan anyway. Sometimes I go to work and I eat everything before the store opens and then I'm walking around knowing I better not get hungry, and also I have to poo. lol. So now I will try to make a solid plan and stick to it. I'm hoping today will be a great day! Put your best foot forward! You're the shit, fuck what they say! Love ya, Kazidelicious more pics from the photo shoot with Jake Lawless of Lawless Label Productions |
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