It all felt surreal. The pause felt like drums played violently against her heart. She had felt something was off, but now everything unwound. Two days ago her grandfather died and she hadn't even had enough time to process that. He seemed invincible, and she was gullible enough to hope it was true. Now, her entire life was about to change.
She was staring at the screen, locked, eyes were in a haze. He was across the room and didn't even know what she was looking at. Didn't know their lives were about to change instantly. Although she knew with the very first email, she continued to torture herself. Heart achingly she read as he exchanged I love you's, as he acted jealous with her, as he made promises to her. This was a man who was seemingly always home, and we were always together, and was constantly jealous, but he led another life. She felt her insides ripping at the seams and her throat turned inside out looking for something, anything to say. Each breath was like a balloon was sucked into her windpipe.
"Get out" she finally spoke. He was bewildered.
"I know who Sherry is, you won't be able to lie your way out of it, Get the fuck out." She said it with purpose, but she was in a daze, it was emotionless. She had yet to feel the impact of everything that just happened. She wondered how many times her gut feelings were right. She pondered how many years he'd lied to her, or did it just begin? Her head was reeling, like when you'd spin in circles as a kid, but now not fun, and violently.
He attempted to tell her it didn't mean anything with the other girl. He kept calling himself stupid, and saying he had nowhere to go. She knew in her heart she had to break the ties.
"Go live with your other girlfriend, I don't care." He pleaded a few more times but eventually he got the hint and began to pack some things. They both cried, and the house was filled with sadness. Now she wondered if he was just crying because he was losing his place to live. She couldn't believe she allowed herself to trust him. They stopped really being in love with each other a few years ago, but they had love for each other after such a long commitment. They stayed together and tried to make it work. Well apparently only one of them tried.
They hugged and cried for what seemed like too long. Seven years of dating and living together, they spent a lot of time together. It is hard to lose someone like that, but sometimes it is what's healthier. After he left she sat and cried for a while longer. This time she really cried, she realized it was really over. She cried until she was done, until she decided to feel angry.
Her persona changed and she decided to leave the house and see some friends. This was no time to be alone and bat-shit.