Worthless

so tired of being worthless
helpless,
alone.
I'm stuck on autopilot
move forward ,
drone.
suicidal
 at the thought
of anything changing
but knowing 
my life
needs rearranging
I'm dead inside
I recall
I've noticed it before
till the manic
moment hits
and I'm screaming for more
but never 
for long
before I'm back in hell
deepest 
darkest thoughts
starting to dwell
my mind
has been 
long gone. 



*I did want to make a note that you do not need to worry. Although this poem mentions suicidal you don't need to be concerned for me. I occasionally have these feelings but I do not have interest in acting on them.