I've been in a low the past few days, crying a lot, bored with life, the usual.
So today I am going to do my best to get the hell outta that ish!
Tonight is my the regular monthly show that I attend. My boyfriend's band puts them on, so I do my best to show support and have a good time. My social anxieties usually subside at these shows a bit because I know the majority of the people there. I've also been manic in their presence, so now they see me as someone who is social. People don't always realize there are two sides to me in that way. The people that do are pretty understanding. I've even had to go home in the middle of a show due to just "feeling off" that day. The thing is, there are more people that deal with these issues than we realize. I'm walking around dealing with my anxieties as the person next to me is doing the same. The other day I met someone for the first time and she explained that she dealt with this right away, and that of course made me open up to her as well. I think that made the rest of the night go smoother because now that we knew that of each other we also felt less awkward around one another.
A large part of my life has been spent asking to be normal, hoping to be so. I've tried to just act like I was okay. Truth is I feel much closer to being okay when I talk about why I'm not, or how I'm not. It's like the putting it in words that you can understand, helps you grasp on to these feelings that you haven't been able to understand.
writing therapy is kinda cool.
Until next time!!