This morning I was watching a video on facebook, and it started making me heated. I get angry sometimes and I feel like I need to talk to someone, but since it's 6 a.m. I figured it might be best to write a blog. I told you guys I would get real, and it will be scary for me, but I am going to try.
I was sad, and angry that we live in a world where girls who are raped feel afraid to come forward because how the world would treat THEM! It's true though and it happens more than we know. Even I personally have had a situation, and I didn't report it. Maybe I should've, but there is this way of feeling like it's different. It wasn't some random stranger in a dark alley, that we all imagine it would be. It was someone I knew, someone I thought was cool. That someone could even be someone you might've found attractive but the moment you're saying no, and he's forceful, and you're pushing, and he's still attempting...that is a scary moment. I'm stronger than he realized though and he could not get what he wanted from me. I slammed his head into a brick wall and got out of there! What if I wouldn't have? Would I have felt guilty because I allowed myself to be alone with him, would they scrutinize what I was wearing, did I drink that night, did I lead him on? He lived on my street and every so often I would see him. Seeing him made me feel dirty, and angry. Why, when he was feeling just fine. I thought of slamming his head a few more times into something, but also know I don't love inflicting pain on others either. That was a long time ago, I was eighteen years old, I was a virgin then. I could've lost my virginity to rape.
Now this has me thinking of another thing I should incorporate at this charity for abused children....self defense classes. Being able to fight helped me in that situation.
It was scary to be in a situation like that and looking back maybe I should've reported him. It is hard to go through something like that, and sometimes it doesn't seem real at all. If you ever need someone to talk to I am here, drop me a message in the contact me page. It was scary to share this, please understand. I will continue to try and tell you my stories piece by piece I suppose depending on what sparks my interest probably via facebook meme lol.
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