Happiness is Wishful

This time, I wont allow myself to lose control,
let the lies create a mountain,
and they swallow me whole,
I'll be diligently searching,
for a tear in the design,
never trusting,
anyone to be just mine,
so many years have passed,
and somehow they still achieve,
to have me contemplating,
the ability to believe,
in God, in other people, 
in ever being okay,
So I hold tight to my heart,
because I'm way too afraid,
conflicted in my misery,
why can't I just be blissful,
because content me was ignorant,
and happiness is wishful,
I stuffed the darkness in my pocket,
so no one else would see,
and wen't on about pretending,
that I'm okay being me.


I've just been on a random writing kick lately. I'm not worrying about structure, I'm just getting my thoughts out. 
ttys
kazidelicious
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