Do you ever just wake up from a dream and it seems
your reality is beyond fucked because of it?
Today I woke up on the grumpy side of the bed, and I'm having a hard time shaking it.
My dream was strange and didn't make a lot of sense. That didn't stop me from feeling every emotion like a thirteen year old girl having a period. I woke up in such a terrible mood with a headache that felt like someone was compressing my brain. Then I was cunty with my boyfriend because he was cleaning, and I wanted to clean. What in the actual hell.
My dream was about work, it was about being replaced, not being informed of changes, and quitting only to start another job that did the same thing. I do not think it's work I'm actually afraid of. I might be afraid of this life situation in every aspect. I am an insecure ball of homemade cheese.
I am afraid of being alone, or forgotten. I'm scared people will instantly stop caring. Or will hurt me with no regard for my feelings. I've conquered this fear in the past, and you'd think I'd stop being so terrified by it. I have found coping techniques, but I still shiver at the thought of going through that again.
A professor once told me that I deal with negative fantasies and that is why I'm not already accomplishing my goals. Knowing that, and discontinuing that way of thinking are on completely different levels. I'm going to put on some music now, and attempt to bring the core me out of bitch mode. Thanks for being my free therapy. Maybe I should do this more, what do you think?